JAPAN-SAN
You’ve maxed out ever character in every single JRPG, you’ve got Hideo Kojima and Shinji Mikami’s faces tattooed to each buttock and will only play Shin Megami Tensei on Japanese Import – even if it takes you over 2000 hours to finally complete it. You’ve never actually been to Japan, but you’re the foremost authority on the country. Without you, Play-Asia would go out of business. Oh, and you never did get over that whole Aeris (Aerith - whatever!) thing.
RETRO MAN
Everything was better in 2D. You own 700 different versions of Donkey Kong and Pac Man. Any game that came out after 1998 is automatically ‘shit’ and you spend most of your waking hours browsing Wikipedia for factual errors and then complaining about it. The Dreamcast is probably your favourite console, although you can’t bring yourself to admit it to your friends because it came out in 1999 and it would make you look like a hypocrite.
RHYTHM DUDE
You’ve got the hand eye co-ordination of brain surgeon. You really, desperately want to be in a successful band – which is kinda funny, because if you spent as much time learning the actual guitar as you did clacking away at plastic buttons in Guitar Hero, you’d make Jimmy Hendrix look like Justin Bieber.
CAP_ARAGORN_342 Lv80
You once spent three and a half days on a single raid, eating nothing but hob-nobs and drinking Dr Pepper – and all you got out of it was a pair of sandals for your Lv80 Priest. You really, really love your RPGs so much so that… er… you’ve only played ONE for the last five years. You consider yourself a pretty social kind of guy - just as long as it only happens in Guild Chat.
NINTY FANBOY
Your fondest memory is that dream you had where Shigeru Miyamoto was your dad, giving you a spanking for the Ash and Misty pr0n you have on your laptop. You can’t bring yourself to like Okami because it’s almost as good as Zelda and the harsh reality that the Wii is just a white Gamecube with a stupid controller makes you cry hot, salty tears into your Mario pillowcase.
CASUAL DUDE
There are only two games in existence - Call of Duty and FIFA/NFL/NHL/NBA (delete as appropriate). You think Katamari Damacy is a type of toothpaste the most cultured thing ever to touch your console is the Naan Bread you threw at your cat when it threatened to piss on your Xbox.
THE SHOOTER
You love to kill. In fact, it’s physically impossible for you to shoot anyone anywhere other than in the head. You can Snipe players without the scope from 200 miles away, and have an almost autistic ability to memorise every spawn point and pick-up in any given map. You don’t actually own a gun in real life, but you did rip an otter in half with your bare hands once. And suck on its kidneys.
THE CONNOISSEUR
You consider yourself to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of videogames. You’ll seek out those indie gems no one’s ever heard of and harp on about them to your mates. As soon as they say they like them, you declare them ‘mainstream, popularist bullshit’ and tell them they’re the kind of ‘casual sell-outs’ that are ‘destroying the industry’. For you, giving people a hard time on forums isn’t just a hobby – it’s a full time job.
ONLINE ASSHOLE
You can say ‘homosexual’ in over 1000 different ways, although ironically, you can’t actually spell it. There are 6.5 billion people on Planet Earth but according to you, you’ve slept with every single one of their mothers – including your own presumably. You have an uncanny ability to Rage Quit when you’re down to your last 0.00000001% of health. Oh yeah, and everyone hates you BECAUSE YOU’RE A TOTAL ASS-HAT.
ANIME GIRL
You only have time to game in between episodes of Fruit Baskets. Your bed is covered with every Pokemon plush ever made and when you’re not browsing for Sephiroth toys, you’re drawing naked pictures of Hazama and posting them on Tumblr.
MR HARDCORE
You can beat two player Ikaruga on your own. Using just one credit. On hard. You can find the sickest combos in a fighter just by staring at the title screen and sniffing the manual. You honestly can’t remember the last time you used a joypad. If there really was a bullet hell, no one would get in without your say so. You find the word ‘Tekken’ genuinely upsetting.
Wii MUM
Hitting endless strikes on Wii Bowling helped bring down your post natal weight down by over 3 stone. You just love Professor Leyton’s stupid face and your children hate you because you consider Sudoku on DS to be a perfectly acceptable birthday gift – not like that nasty old Call of Halo and Grand Theft Turismo you’ve been reading about in the paper.
тип геймера - вариация BLAZBLUE !!!
хотя это крайне приблизительно
хочешь быть здоров????,........просто.. качайся…..
???
Линейный вид
